Listen.
This is the key concept from the week-long Stanley H. King Institute, which Pingry hosted this summer on its Pottersville Campus. A professional development conference for administrators, faculty, and staff from independent schools, the Institute (named for the former Harvard professor) holds a conference on the West Coast and East Coast every year.
“We are partnering with organizations that emphasize Pottersville as a destination for scholarship and lifelong learning, as well as a place to build connections and encourage belonging,” says Rebecca Sullivan, Director of the Pottersville Campus. “Stanley H. King is a well-known, renowned institute. Their mission and what they teach align with Pingry’s mission.”
The event itself focuses on deep listening in support of students, as well as tapping into one’s empathy, and asks educators to consider these questions, among others: How do we support what students need? How do we listen more deeply? How do we promote open communication?
“It’s about shutting off your own thoughts—thinking about how you would respond while the other person is talking—and focusing on what the person is saying,” says Pingry’s 2025 attendee, Deputy Director of Athletics Erin Boccher. “It’s meant to help build connections with students, and it’s really helpful for interactions with anyone.” Ms. Boccher relates that the Institute also addresses a balancing act: seeking help versus giving advice versus other guidance.
“The Institute goes into knowing when to seek help for a student, or helping them find answers for themselves—not really ‘giving advice,’ which is hard [not to do], but guiding them to solve their problems.”
Past Pingry attendees Alan Van Antwerp (Dean of Student Life for Advising and Peer Leadership; Upper School Performing Arts Teacher), Robert Hoepfl (Form III/IV Dean of Student Life; Upper School History Teacher), Dr. Gilberto Olvera (Director of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging), and Dr. Reid Cottingham (Upper School Director; College Counselor; Upper School English Teacher) all say they continue to use the Institute’s practices around deep listening.
“Something that I had never made enough time for was to reflect on myself and my behaviors,” Dr. Olvera says. “At Stanley King, we started off with a lot of self-reflection, which then facilitated my ability to look outwardly and grow as a person and an educator.”
What was Dr. Cottingham’s key takeaway? The motto “Don’t just do something; sit there.” “The idea was that we, as educators, all too often want to jump into action when kids are upset or unhappy, but the best thing to do is simply to sit with them and listen carefully.”
It is also important to note that this was the first time Pingry hosted a weeklong professional development conference—making full use of the Pottersville Campus’ facilities. Nearly 60 adults from around the U.S. stayed overnight in all of the dorm rooms (during a week when New Jersey experienced a 100-degree heatwave, so full air conditioning at Pottersville was critical). The Institute’s seven leaders stayed in the redesigned, recently refurbished eight-room Suite—the first guests in that new space—and the conference used spaces across the campus, including the library, theater, Bear Den, walking trails, and dining hall with food provided by SAGE.
“Hosting the Stanley King Institute was a wonderful opportunity for Pingry and for the Pottersville Campus. Through hosting a mission-aligned organization that emphasizes fostering connection while utilizing the breadth of the entire campus, we were able to leverage the Pottersville Campus to its fullest potential,” Ms. Sullivan says. “We hope to host the Institute again next year.”
Contact: Greg Waxberg ’96, Assistant Director of Communications, Writer/Editor