Sophie Pateyuk '28 is a professional procrastinator, part-time overthinker, and full-time observer of life’s weird little moments. When not convincing themselves that this will be the week they get their life together, they can be found making oddly similar playlists to the last one she just made on spotify, going out with friends and wondering if that one embarrassing thing they did in the fourth grade talent show still haunts anyone else. They also just enjoy writing about the thoughts we all have but rarely say out loud or make known to many.

 

Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Sunday Night

Sunday nights. Our reset for a whole new week. The grand finale. The last bittersweet moments of freedom before a week filled with existential chaos. Somehow, the two days we yearn for are gone in the blink of an eye. Monday looms ahead like an unavoidable task.

As we cling to those last precious moments of our weekend, we convince ourselves this week will be different. But deep down, we know the truth.

Here are the biggest lies we tell ourselves every Sunday night:

 

1. “This week, I’m going to be productive.”

Oh... that to-do list you wrote with such enthusiasm? It will be buried under snack wrappers, unread emails, and a pile of clothes somewhere by Wednesday. But sure, tell yourself this is the week you finally get your life together. We believe in you!! Sort of…

2. “I’ll go to bed early tonight.”

Yes! Right after you check your phone one last time. And by “one last time,” I mean scrolling on TikTok for another hour and a half (only if you still have it on your cellular device, r.i.p.) and online shopping for things you will never buy. The next thing you know, it’s 2 a.m., and you’re wide awake. You wonder if today is actually already Monday and you have to go to school in five hours.

3. “This week, I’ll stick to my workout routine.”

Look at you, trying to get that “Summer Body”!! You’ll set your alarm for 6 a.m. (maybe), lay out your workout clothes, and smile about your future fit self. Then, when the alarm goes off, you’ll hit snooze seven times and promise yourself you’ll “definitely go after school or work.” Then, somehow, something gets in the way, and you just say you’ll start next week… Somehow, another week passes, and you start on Sunday night and move on to Monday night. You’re feeling great but lose all hope by Tuesday night because you’re drowning in work. 

4. “I’ll finally clean my room.”

Let’s take a step back and think about this one. You’ll finally start organizing that mountain of laundry and clear off your desk so it no longer resembles a wasteland. But by Monday, you’ll convince yourself that organized chaos is an aesthetic choice because that’s the only way to live with yourself! 

5. “I’ll stay on top of my work this week and not procrastinate.”

That’s a lie (for most). Monday, you’ll start calm, under control, and asleep by 11:30 p.m. But then, Tuesday, 11 p.m. rolls around; you’re already dramatically sighing at your desk, reconsidering your entire life, and Googling “how to retire at 15” and “how to get rich at 16”.

6. “I’ll only watch one more episode.”

Now, we both know you’re finishing the entire season tonight. Go ahead. Just accept your path.

7. “I’m not going to spend much money this week and save.”

Right… because last week’s three impulsive Amazon orders, the "Oh, I have to try Crumbl Cookies lineup this week", and your “just one Starbucks drink” habit totally didn’t add up. But hey, this week, you’ll be financially responsible—right after you buy that thing you definitely don’t need!

8. “I’ll actually wake up when my alarm goes off.”

The optimism is strong with that one. But we both know that you'll try to hit snooze five times by the time your alarm rings, fall back asleep and bargain with yourself for “just five more minutes” until you’re suddenly running late.

9. “I’ll call/text people back on time.”

You swear you’ll stop ghosting your friends and family. But somehow, replying, “hey, what’s up?” feels like you’re sitting in the library with so much work you think you’ll actually crash out. 

10. “This week will be different.”

 Whatever makes your heart warm and fuzzy when you sleep every night!

 

So, as another Sunday night fades into Monday morning, let's appreciate the grand delusions that keep us sane. Because honestly, if we didn’t believe these little lies, how would we ever survive the week of relentless homework, awkward group projects, and the horrible horrors of 6 a.m. alarms? I'm already appreciating next Sunday, when we’ll tell ourselves all these lies again.

 

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To contact the author: Sophie Pateyuk '28

 

Photo by Natalie Gonzalez